Funny stories involving the Police - Page 2

pottery beige · 26-11-2010, 09:28 AM

At the height of the cricket season a while back when Tubby Taylor was mr headlines Potty was pulled over for an indescretion.... Mr Policemans decides to take down names to which mate replies Mark Taylor..... big LOL's we've all lost it Police mans cracked big wobbly out of the car id smart asses.. and there it was on his license Mark Taylor......

GreenMachine · 26-11-2010, 09:30 AM

I wrote this list in 2006 after trying to teach an off-duty copper in an unmarked Falcon a lesson about keeping left on the highway:

10 things not to do on the public roadway:

10: Underestimate travel times
9: Drive in an aggressive manner
8: Try to make up lost time on the road
7: Exceed the posted speed limit
6: Exceed the posted speed limit in someone else's company car
5: Tailgate other drivers
4: Tailgate other drivers, even if they're doing 88kph in the right hand lane of a 90 zone.
3: Repeatedly flash your lights at other drivers whilst your front bumper is within 4 inches of theirs
2: Make like you're going to punt them off the road as they finally move out of your lane
1: Most importantly, do not do any of this to unmarked police cars

I've got a few others, might be best to leave them unpublished!

BLU-DVL · 26-11-2010, 09:33 AM

Year 1980.. something.. following an obviously drunk driver in Darwin, swerving over 2 lanes of a dual carriage way, off the road.. takes out a white marker post, back across both lanes, and rubs median strip.. no way in hell were we going to risk passing him..
As we crested a hill, a policeman in all his gear, torch in hand steps onto the road.. there was an RBT.. Great! we thought.. they got him..
We braked and watched the ute in front continue on, not slowing down at all.. all of a sudden the ute slams! on the brakes, makes a sudden swerve to the left and plows into the back of the RBT van...
We pulled over behind.. a number of police officers run to the ute, open the door and the driver falls out horizontally to the road.. Another officer returns to our car.. and says.. "you can go.. we won't need any witnesses for this one!"..
we continued on our journey, most of the way in tears laughing!

**buggerlugs** · 26-11-2010, 09:51 AM

Older fellow driving down the Hamilton Hwy in a HT ute minding his own business. Unmarked police car pulls up alongside him. Police officer in Passenger side puts up a sign to his window of the unmarked car, "POLICE". Older fellow leans down , picks up a sign,
"J.M Cox Builder". Both police officers crack up laughing and drive off............

**DJM83** · 26-11-2010, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by buggerlugs

Older fellow driving down the Hamilton Hwy in a HT ute minding his own business. Unmarked police car pulls up alongside him. Police officer in Passenger side puts up a sign to his window of the unmarked car, "POLICE". Older fellow leans down , picks up a sign,
"J.M Cox Builder". Both police officers crack up laughing and drive off............

B-RAD · 26-11-2010, 10:20 AM

I remember in one of the cop shows on tv a few months ago, the cop accusing the guy of doing burnouts because of the conditions of the back tyres. The car was front wheel drive though!

jason71 · 26-11-2010, 11:50 AM

I was in a car with some mate's when one of them decided to moon some people on the side of the road, unfortunately a police car passed at the same time.

When we were pulled over the officer said to him, "What were you doing with your head sticking out of the window?"

Gobes32 · 26-11-2010, 11:55 AM

When I was younger we used to go riding in the paddocks around my neighbourhood and split when the cops came. However there was an older kid, a decent rider, who used to love being chased by them in their cars knowing full well he would always get away. Anyway, one day a copper pulls up on a BMW bike and proceeds to go straight for this guy, probably already knew who he was, and the chase begins. The kid takes him straight down his favourite get away track strewn with rocks, etc. After 10 mins the copper actually caught him!!! Seeing a full blown BMW road bike chase down a CR125 on an absolute goat track is one of my favourite childhood memories.........

Reaper8 · 26-11-2010, 12:18 PM

when i lived in canberra was driving my hilux home and had just gone over a crest of a hill when a car coming the other way hit me with his high beam, not to be outdone i hit the switch for my four lightforce spotlights on the roof only to reveal the cop throw his arm over his face. lights went on so pulled over to have the copper start abusing me so i gave it back to him for hittin me first, got the speed fine but gave him a tan.

flappist · 26-11-2010, 12:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GreenMachine

I wrote this list in 2006 after trying to teach an off-duty copper in an unmarked Falcon a lesson about keeping left on the highway:

10 things not to do on the public roadway:

10: Underestimate travel times
9: Drive in an aggressive manner
8: Try to make up lost time on the road
7: Exceed the posted speed limit
6: Exceed the posted speed limit in someone else's company car
5: Tailgate other drivers
4: Tailgate other drivers, even if they're doing 88kph in the right hand lane of a 90 zone.
3: Repeatedly flash your lights at other drivers whilst your front bumper is within 4 inches of theirs
2: Make like you're going to punt them off the road as they finally move out of your lane
1: Most importantly, do not do any of this to unmarked police cars

I've got a few others, might be best to leave them unpublished!

That reminded me of a sort of similar incident that happened to me in the 80s

I was driving my shiny RX7 north from Sydney somewhere on the old pacific highway when these two idiots came flying up behind me in a red falcon.

They tailgated me and were generally annoying trying to pushe me into going faster but I was tired and in another state so I just floated along at the speed limit (as opposed to QLD at the time where anything under about 30km/h over the limit was usually ignored in the bush).

Upon getting to a dual lane overtaking zone the "idiots" cam up beside me and did a couple of "race starts" surging forward and then dropping back as if to goad me into racing.
I just looked over and shook my head mouthing "d-heads" so they zoomed off up the road. I noticed a couple a official looking hats on the rear parcel shelf as the disappeared into the distance.

About 20 minutes later I passed then facing the other way with the disco on booking a south bound car.

XESP351 · 26-11-2010, 12:28 PM

Long time ago, driving down Bell st Preston with a mate in his Magna (can't remember why i was driving), i see fast closing lights in the rear view mirror and then cop lights flashing. I pulled over and a female cop stormed out of the cop car screaming at me for pulling out of the side street and fishtailing all over the road......

. I try and explain to her that it couldn't have possibly been me as this is a Magna iand it's front wheel drive in which you cannot do that, but she insists it was me and proceeds to her car to write up the fine. Shortly after another cop car pulls over behind her and a male officer comes over and speaks to her then comes over to me and i tell him that she wants to book me for doing fishtails in a Magna, so he laughs , goes and has a chat to her. She gets in her car and he waves for me to drive off.

SXR6 · 26-11-2010, 12:32 PM

A year or so ago, was out meeting up with some mates in Penrith.
I was tired so I left early and was heading down the Great Western Highway(raceway).
Driving alone, with the odd traffic light blat, but nothing major.
A newer falcon came right up behind me, then up next to me, gave it a squirt past me, dropped back, I gave it a squirt past him, and it went on for a little while, just a bit of fun, we didnt race, just fooling around really.
Cruising along at about 80km/h or so, almost side by side, out of no where a little import cracked gate and screamer pipe down the left lane passed both of us, the car next to me, BOOM blue light and off he goes after the little toy.
Yep, I turned white and stained my seats lol, I was playing silly buggers with an undercover, but obviously wasn't doing anything bad enough to get myself pulled over.

AND

Come back from a club in Castle Hill, I was passenger with a mate and the girlfriend was driving. Went past a highway patrol, on go the xmas lights, violent U-turn and we get pulled over. Cop walks over with torch checking us all and asks for 'licence and registration' wtf? umm we arent in america, girlfriend leans out the window and hits the cop and says your a ******** officer. Ha, it was her friend. He was just trying to scare us. Was funny.

Sam_Boss260 · 26-11-2010, 12:51 PM

About 3 or 4 years ago, around midnight we hear this almighty crash / bang in our normally quiet suburban street.

Missus and I were still awake, and I go running out to find a single car that had crashed into a tree across the road and about 3 houses down. I run over to the female driver, who by this stage had gotten out of the car with blood all over her face. Just as I am running back to my house to tell the missus to call an ambulance, I notice a 4wd with a canopy pull up.

When I ran back to the driver and the car, the guy in the 4wd was already out and had the police lights on. Turns out it was a police dog handler who was on his way home. He laughed and said I was lucky when I stopped in front of my house yelling for the wife to call the police and ambo. He thought I may have been the driver doing a runner and quickly had already opened the rear door about to set his german shepard onto my ***.

That would have scared the living crap out of me !!

Peter B - CV8 · 26-11-2010, 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Reaper8

when i lived in canberra was driving my hilux home and had just gone over a crest of a hill when a car coming the other way hit me with his high beam, not to be outdone i hit the switch for my four lightforce spotlights on the roof only to reveal the cop throw his arm over his face. lights went on so pulled over to have the copper start abusing me so i gave it back to him for hittin me first, got the speed fine but gave him a tan.

I can relate to that - as I had almost the exact same thing happen. Only difference was that I didn't stop. I figured that it would take at least 5 mins for his night vision to recover - by which time I was long gone

XR6_661 · 26-11-2010, 01:19 PM

Was driving on the cook highway north of cairns and was having a play with a decent looking chick driving a black VE SV6...
Thought I’d give it a proper blat, weaved in and out of a few cars. See this dual cab hilux 4wd flying up behind me, whips out and pulls alongside...Was thinking ah yeah some crazy old codger is gonna lecture me...Look over...Look again, bloke driving is waving a police badge at me...Don’t know if he wanted me to pull over or not...but I didn’t hang around haha, did a u-bolt asap and went back towards Cairns.

Another story, dads this time from when he had his AU v8 forte...
Have some SS commodore (VR/VS) a blat and wound the Au up to about 180kph...saw yellow vests on the side of the road, oop, police setup...flew by at about 160 and turned off to the nearest suburb. Next day, dads work mate says to him, good race last night mate, I was one of the cars you went past...I bet you didn’t know the cops had a road block up about 1km further waiting for yas.

LANKY 1 · 26-11-2010, 02:15 PM

One night while i was designated driver, was cruising in my mates EL XR6 with loud exhuast (mates were drinking in the back). being a small town we saw a cop car driving around so we kept following the cop and going different directions, eventually they slowed down to about 10k in the middle of the road assumeing we would pass, i just slowly stayed behind, eventually they pulled of the road and pulled us over after we passed. just got a breatho and told "i think it's time u lads go home" (1st time i had ever been pulled over on my P's

Ben73 · 26-11-2010, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by geckoGT

The funny bit is as I caught him waiting at the roundabout and got to see the side of his car as he turned onto it, there it was. In big bold letters were "Every K over is a killer" and "Police Speed Camera Unit".

A police camera unit that speeds, no way that can be justified.

About 2-3 weeks ago I passed a mobile speed camera that was just packing up for the day. Further up the road I was doing 62ish in a 60 zone and that Mobile Speed Camera Ford Territory I saw before passed me at 70+
Next set of lights I was next to him and I just stared him the entire time waiting at the lights I don't think he liked that.
But they are all hypocrites anyway.

On the topic of police, I was on a main road at about 1730 a few years ago. Approaching from behind was a Police SS with flashing lights going easily doing 90+ in a 70 zone.
Further up the road he switched off his flashing lights and turns into the street that the police station was on and drives up to the police station at the speed limit. In a hurry to go home I guess?

Jason[98.EL] · 26-11-2010, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ben73

About 2-3 weeks ago I passed a mobile speed camera that was just packing up for the day. Further up the road I was doing 62ish in a 60 zone and that Mobile Speed Camera Ford Territory I saw before passed me at 70+
Next set of lights I was next to him and I just stared him the entire time waiting at the lights I don't think he liked that.
But they are all hypocrites anyway.

On the topic of police, I was on a main road at about 1730 a few years ago. Approaching from behind was a Police SS with flashing lights going easily doing 90+ in a 70 zone.
Further up the road he switched off his flashing lights and turns into the street that the police station was on and drives up to the police station at the speed limit. In a hurry to go home I guess?

and where does that fit in with the no police bashing

ZA-289 · 26-11-2010, 05:27 PM

None of my stories including the police have been very funny, they usually involve some kind of fine, a defected car and a visit to the magistrate...

gcg2503 · 26-11-2010, 05:28 PM

Back in 1996 a guy who was good friends with my GF at the time use to drive an 87 Porsche 911 Wide Body. Quite a car for someone in their mid 20s

At this stage I was driving a VS SS Commodore. We lived in the same area back then

He sees me on the road one Saturday night and proceeds to drag race me as we were both going to the same function at Crown casino.

He pulls into the Valet parking there and when the blue lights go on, suddenly realises it wasnt me ......

CODSASR · 26-11-2010, 05:42 PM

my mates grandad was a officer back in the day. he told us that back when he was a connie he was called out at about 2am to a robbery in progress as he got out of his car the guy started to run so he gave chase on foot about 500 meters up the road the crim turned into a empty yard. My mates pop said he seen the guy climb over a wire fence so when he got to the same area he slowed down and started looking and the crim got away. Apparently there was no fence the guy pretended to climb a fence.

FNQracing · 26-11-2010, 05:42 PM

Had a bit of a beach fire going. Had thrown a can of baked beans and corn kernals in the fire to liven things up a bit. Coppers roll up to move us on. Just as one of them walks up to the fire, and before any of us could warn him.......BANG!

1 copper covered in baked beans and corn kernals. Wasn't happy. Lucky he didn't get scolded. Plenty of pressure in the can but the corn and beans weren't that hot.

His temper was. Didn't help that his colleague was trying not to laugh. Its not easy keeping a straight face when a copper is giving you a lecture covered in beans.

flappist · 26-11-2010, 05:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FFOracing

Had a bit of a beach fire going. Had thrown a can of baked beans and corn kernals in the fire to liven things up a bit. Coppers roll up to move us on. Just as one of them walks up to the fire, and before any of us could warn him.......BANG!

1 copper covered in baked beans and corn kernals. Wasn't happy. Lucky he didn't get scolded. Plenty of pressure in the can but the corn and beans weren't that hot.

His temper was. Didn't help that his colleague was trying not to laugh. Its not easy keeping a straight face when a copper is giving you a lecture covered in beans.

Have you any idea just how close you came to spending 15 years in jail?

FNQracing · 26-11-2010, 06:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by flappist

Have you any idea just how close you came to spending 15 years in jail?

Being 15 at the time, and the incident happening about 30 years ago, I don't give it much thought to be honest.

It wasn't you was it? Sorry about that, I tried to warn you, but, well, you know.... I was just heating them up.....

ThaFlash · 26-11-2010, 06:44 PM

i went and visited my uncle in montreal when i was a little younger, he took me to do the seafood deliveries with him that day, anyway in montreal they drive like nutjobs and rarely stop at stops signs.

on this particular day he goes flying through the stop sign with hardly a touch on the brake, next thing he knows the cop pulls him over and says angrily "what the hell are you doing, didn't you see the stop sign?" "my uncle goes yes, I did, but i didn't see you." then my uncle starts laughing and cop starts laughing his head off, obviously he got him (the cop) by suprise and my uncle was let off with a verbal warning....

it was funnier on the day, you had to be there...

leadfoot · 26-11-2010, 06:56 PM

It was quite a few years ago I had a courier run on the Gold Coast.I was in traffic at Surfers Paradise just crawling along with the clutch and having a look at rather well endowed young lady,when I ran into the back of a Falcon.
The doors open and 2 police climb out of their unmarked car!.They asked me what happened & I said straight out I was looking at the girl with the large breasts - they replied "thats o.k - so were we"
Lucky it was only a couple of scratches & it was left at that - but now I always make sure I am stopped before I start perving

flappist · 26-11-2010, 07:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FFOracing

Being 15 at the time, and the incident happening about 30 years ago, I don't give it much thought to be honest.

It wasn't you was it? Sorry about that, I tried to warn you, but, well, you know.... I was just heating them up.....

Yeh ok, I did silly stuff like that too at that age. I did it once with tinned cheese in "charlie's" fire during a bivouac. Spent the next few days digging holes......

Jim Goose · 26-11-2010, 07:13 PM

How hard is it not to turn this into a cop bashing thread guys?

Franco Cozzo · 26-11-2010, 07:21 PM

I was driving home from work and there was about 5 or 6 of us all following each other at 10km/h over the limit, we all went past a marked cop car going the other direction, he stops on the side of the road, chucks a u-turn, I start packing my dacks, then the cop turns off at the intersection we just passed.

Phew.

Thats been the only time I've come across police on the road.

ThaFlash · 26-11-2010, 09:09 PM

perhaps some off duty members can share some stories....

to be honest apart from getting my head smashed in by police (which i thouroughly deserved and in a sick way enjoyed) when i was 17. I find the police to be better then most regular people, respectful, curteous, professional and more often then not have a pretty good sense of humour.

Oh except for that time i was strip searched, that wasn't too much fun.